Promulgating the Imperialism of the English Language

Well, I'm beginning to "work." Specifically, teaching English to Japanese who a) want to attend a U.S. university; b) want to work for an American/English co. based in Japan; b) just want to learn English because...well...it's just cool to speak the most imperial language on the f**ng planet!

I'm working "for" a small, Tokyo-based language school which is much better than going to one of many big language schools that exist here. Teaching English has become a major capitalistic endeavour for many in Japan; unfortunately, a lot of the big schools are really, really corporate and don't give a crap about the teachers (or I think, about the students). It's all about the money...

So, the place I'm affiliated with sets up meetings for me with likely candidates...I've come to think of them as victims. If all goes well, we arrange a regular day and time to meet. So far so good -- have had 5 out of 5 successful demonstration lessons, for a grand total of 8 students. Hoping to build up to a maximum 15 sessions a week. Meetings take place in coffee shops (Starbucks!!!) and last for an hour, but because of travel time, having 15 meetings per week entails an additional 20-30 hours a week of travel time.

Am also hoping to get a part-time gig teaching English in a Japanese elementary or high school (interviews apparently take place in February and March, with school term commencing in April). If that happens, I'll soon be a busy, and hopefully very happy little camper...

My thoughts so far on teaching are somewhat ambivalent. On the one hand, I could play it as if I'm a hired English-speaking friend. I've been told that it might even be more important that I am English-speaking and "weird" than able to teach anything about grammar, syntax, diction, vocabulary etc. On the other hand, since I am desperately in need of a career, I could play it as if I'm really all about being professional...perhaps get certified as an ESL instructor; work "in-house" for a good, non-exploitative language school, etc.

So far, I've been approaching the whole thing pretty seriously, studying ESL methodology, trying to learn arcane grammatical terms. What I've learned so far is that if you really think about what you're doing when you speak English (for e.g., "Hmmm...I'm about to use a phrasal modal" or "Umm, the next thing I say is going to be in the past perfect progressive") you quickly lose the ability to say anything at all!

I know if and when I meet students without going through the agency/escort service, I'll probably be able to relax and just sit around bullshitting about Hollywood movie stars. For these "free lance students," essentially I will simply be some sort of "English language prostitute," hiring myself out for an hour or two simply so that they can hear me speak and maybe learn a little. But for now, the students I have actually seem committed (plus there's always the threat that they'll call up management and say, "That Candy-san, she sucks!") . So I'm approaching it professionally, diligently, probably obsessively! I actually do plan on becoming certified (in a couple of months, after earning the money to pay for the course...).

Have made one whorish maneuver -- giving it away (i.e. my command of English) for free to one woman I met in a bookstore. Actually, we're doing a language exchange...I help her with English, she helps me with Japanese. I think it'll be fun, and also a good way to make a friend. This Friday, we're meeting for lunch (I really want to try a Japanese style do-it-yourself pancake called okonomiyaki).

In other news, Thor is back in town (he was away for a week) and leaves Feb. 9 for 6 weeks. By then, I may be so busy that his absence will barely be noticed (fat chance, when I have to slink to bed alone at near-freezing temperatures!). Will attend a fertility festival (I think it's in late March, eary April) and the pics from that should be quite amusing. Other than that, perhaps a hotspring (onsen) and a visit to my friend Robert, who lives many hours away in Shikoku...

Last, but not least, simply because it's easier (and because it seems as if everyone in Japan has a nickname), I've decided to "let" people here call me Candy (San) (most think it's pretty funny: in Japanese the word for candy (as in the sweet) is ame (pronounced amay) so maybe my new name is Ame-San. Word to the wise: if you have become accustomed to calling me Candy, continue to do so. If not, stick with Candice please! (If, however, you've become accustomed to not listening to anything I say, go ahead, call me CANDY. I no longer really care!)