Fluffy is bad for your health
Been boycotting the news for the past week, reasoning that I've plenty of howling fantods of my own. A friend in Canada wrote and asked if I had worked today, which kinda got me thinking: should I have stayed shut in??? Was it a tactical error to leave my laundry hanging outside overnight and all day in the breezy, it kinda feels like spring air?? Is that why I'm so itchy?
Anyway, April 1st is the start of the new school year here (which is the best practical joke of all when you think of it). If I had balls they'd be so pressed against the walls they'd be discs. This will be SNAFU* for the next couple of weeks I think.
New school seems okay. One problem: there are apparently some enterprising teens who've taken to smoking on a little used 4th floor hallway. Teachers in my grade discussed what to do, while I sat and doodled, since my contributions would doubtless have been ill-received. It seems hard to believe that this problem was born in the past week, so my thinking at first was: let me hang out on the 4th floor and dissuade kids from this nasty habit (of which I sometimes partake). It would be cool because maybe I could sneak in a smoke myself. But then I realized that if the stinky tobacco smell continued to linger despite my presence, minds might start to wonder. Or worse, some erstwhile smoker might catch me in the act of inhaling, and I'd end up having to give away loosies to him/her and his degenerate friends in order to buy their silence. Could end up being an unofficial school club.
My second idea, which I liked better, totally beat out the wussy police-tape type barrier (pink) and DO NOT ENTER sign which were eventually decided upon. Thought it would be cool to get '"Fluffy" -- from the first Harry Potter movie -- to guard the stairwell leading to the fourth floor -- chained down of course. Sadly, Fluffy would probably woof "hell no" to this kind of ho-hum assignment, given that his last job was guarding the secret to everlasting life. Oh well. Perhaps just an autographed, life-sized cardboard cut out of Fluffy to lend some seriousness to the injunction?
When classes finally begin, these flights of fancy will doubtless diminish or go into overdrive. We shall see.
*Situation Normal All Fucked Up