Friday, August 31, 2007

The Best Movie: EVER!!!!! The Best Soundtrack: EVER!!!

I have to write about the most incredible movie that I watched with my friend Masako today.

Neither of us was expecting much, but it turned out to be a movie that will change our lives forever.

I rented it just out of curiosity. I knew a few people who’d seen it and was prepared to just be entertained by a little action – a typical mindless boy movie to waste away the afternoon. However, I have never been more wrong in my entire life.

By the end of this film, both Masako and I were speechless. We both felt such incredible emotional exhaustion at the sheer power of the story that unfolded on the screen before our eyes.

Here is an excerpt of the conversation that followed the screening of this amazing film:

C: Wow. I don’t even know what to say…but that was definitely the greatest movie I have ever, ever seen!

M: OMG, I know!! I can’t believe it didn’t win any Academy Awards.

C: Just goes to show you how stupid Hollywood is…they never seem able to recognize truly great art. Maybe it’s because the actors weren’t famous…?

M: But who cares whether they are famous or not?!!! Those performances were incredible! I’ve never seen such skillful acting in my life and I’ve watched so many fucking movies!

C: And it wasn’t just the acting. The story was really inspirational.

M: It was like watching the Bible….but the dialogue was so gritty and real.

C: Yeah…it was like a religious experience, man! I felt my soul move with every second and every scene that passed before our eyes.

M: You remember that other movie….? The one with the Australian actor?

C: Who Mel Gibson?

M: No! Not him…That other guy…the one who likes to punch photographers….Russell Crowe!

C: Don’t they both like to punch photographers? Yeah…what was that movie? Oh yeah, Gladiator!! But Gladiator doesn’t even hold a candle to this movie! What we just watched was no cg effects orgy! It was a real cinematic masterpiece!

M: Yeah...Gladiator was like totally amateur in comparison! Another thing…the soundtrack from that movie will—like--haunt me forever. I’m so glad I saw that movie on the eve of my birthday. It marks a really special turning point in my life and I can’t think of a more fitting way to celebrate it. How can I thank you, Candice?!

C: Don’t thank me! Thank the incredible cast and the directors and all the other geniuses involved in the production…I’m so jealous because it’s my birthday next month and I won’t be able to celebrate it with such a spectacular movie as this one!

M: Yeah…After watching it, I wonder if there’s any point in ever watching another movie again in my life!

C: I know what you mean! Frankly, it seems clear that there is no point. I don’t even know why anyone bothers even making movies after this one! Nothing, I mean NOTHING could ever top this!

M: I wanna buy this movie like right now!

C: Me too! And I want to get a poster!!

M: Maybe they make wallpaper!

C: Brilliant! I want to be surrounded by scenes from this movie when I go to bed at night and they’re the first thing I wanna see when I wake up in the morning! So fucking inspiring...God, I think I’m gonna cry….

M: Remember how after Lord of the Rings came out, people were like buying replicas of the ring and stuff? I thought that was totally cheesy, but now I understand the motivation...I'd love to have a copy of the necklace that played such an important part in the closing scene, wouldn't you?

C: Absolutely!!! You know, I've been thinking about getting a katana, but now I realize that what I really want is a big ass sword and shield like the one the hero had!

M: Right on! Hey, I think I gotta go home and tell my cats about this film! No living creature on this planet could not be moved to think about their lives totally differently after seeing this film…not even four-legged animals with tails!

C: Yeah, you should definitely buy it and let them watch it. I know they’d thank you for it if they could. And then they could spread the word to all the other kitties around the world. So that all felines will know the story.....

M: Sweet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDiUG52ZyHQ
P.S. Click this link to reveal the identity of this indescribably wonderful film!!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sticky Fingers -- Booger Snacks Revisited

It’s hard to update a blog that has sat neglected for the better part of the year. There’s so much to tell that it’s even harder to know where to begin. I guess anecdotally will suffice, especially since such an approach is in keeping with most entries hitherto…In this way, I’ll also be able to studiously avoid delving into the “black-out” periods that essentially define 2007 to date vis a vis my personal life. A plus for those who know some of the details (and lo! “thou shalt be spared the boredom of reiteration!”) And for those that don’t, perhaps an opportunity to spend nanosecond or two wondering what terrors and joys you’ve clearly missed.

Luckily, there’s still plenty of terror and joy left fit to print.

Having lived in Japan for nearly 3 years now, it seems fitting to revisit the booger snacks phenomenon on which I had commented long, long ago. In a nutshell, booger sushi remains as popular a subway/commuter train snack as ever, though I am forced to admit that the eye and ear ambrosia imbibing folk represent a truly tiny minority of strap hangers who indulge in bodily gustatory delights.

I worked up the courage to mention the blatant, unabashed nose picking problematic to a couple of my more laid back students (craftily sneaking in my remarks in the context of a difficult ESL article focusing on manners and customs), and discovered that while I may yet be just another crazy gaijin, there is definitely a statistically significant amount of sticky-fingered adult action taking place on the trains.

Just recently, a good friend of mine mentioned to me that she’d read an article (albeit of questionable authority…probably some online drivel…perhaps even on a blog), which stated that eating boogers does indeed have nutritional benefits…She also speculated that perhaps, boogers taste different depending on one’s relative state of health and that those “in the nose” were just performing daily/weekly/occasional check ups…

Never the skeptic (but ever the liar!), I encouraged her to go further down the rabbit hole in search of lucid explanations for what appears to be a widespread phenomena. She added little else to account for it, though did teach me the word for boogers in Japanese which translates fittingly enough as “nose shit” (hana kuso). As a footnote, it seems that there are an inordinate number of oyaji gagu (the kind of jokes favoured by avuncular old men) involving hana kuso. Hmmmm….